Software Programmer Joke

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.

The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: “Can’t you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!”

The boy replies back: “Darling, I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings, we only worry about errors.”.

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Funny Girls Searching Jokes

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

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Funny Doctor Patient Joke

Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What?! How about the bad news? Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.

Ha ha ha ha .............!

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Funny Marriage Anniversaries Joke

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"

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Funny Husband and Wife Conversation

Wife : You had lunch? Husbnd: You had lunch? Wife: I'm asking you. Husband: I'm asking you. Wife: Are you copying me? Husband: Are you copying me? Wife: I love u. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Husband: I had Lunch :P

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Funny Wife Advice "Spouse Funny Advice"

Most Wives Give Their Husbands Sound Advice. “99% Sound, 1% Advice!

Husband and Wife Jokes

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IBM Fresher Job | Fresher Job in IBM

Job description An Application Developer will design Applications, write Code, test, debug and maintain Software Applications. We are looking for exceptional candidates who are enterprising, have good interpersonal skills, have the ability to operate in large teams that work closely with Clients. They must also have sound Time management skills, ability to handle multiple tasks, prioritize and deliver on time. Strong verbal and written communication skills, a passion to learn and apply technical prowess to solve Client problems are a must. Graduates & Post graduates from all technical streams are eligible. As new recruits, they will partner and network with the global IBM community while working alongside Top Talent. The GBS Global Delivery Center is a challenging and an enriching platform for fresh graduates and post-graduates to implement their academic learning in real time situations, acquire new skills and more importantly, make a difference. POSTING : Anywhere in India  SELECTION CRITERIA : Degrees Considered : B.E., B.Tech., M.E., M.Tech., M.C.A  Year of Pass out : 2011 & 2012  Branches : All Technical Streams are eligible except Pharma and Fashion Technology Qualifying Marks  Graduation & Post Graduation as applicable (Aggregate for all semesters) 70% for universities outside Maharashtra 65% for inside Maharashtra  Pre University : 65%  SSLC : 65%  All candidates should have completed a minimum of 16 years of formal education . Candidates should not have any backlogs at the time of selection

Required

• Bachelor's Degree
• English: Fluent

IBM is committed to creating a diverse environment and is proud to be an equal opportunity employer. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, gender, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, national origin, genetics, disability, age, or veteran status.
Click Here To Apply

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What is an engineer ?
An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical, societal and commercial problems.

The discipline of engineering is extremely broad, and encompasses a range of more specialized fields of engineering, each with a more specific emphasis on particular areas of applied science, technology and types of application.

The term Engineering is derived from the Latin ingenium, meaning "cleverness" and ingeniare, meaning "to contrive, devise".

The creative application of scientific principles to design or develop structures, machines, apparatus, or manufacturing processes, or works utilizing them singly or in combination; or to construct or operate the same with full cognizance of their design; or to forecast their behavior under specific operating conditions; all as respects an intended function, economics of operation or safety to life and property

Engineers Day Wallpapers

Engineers Day Wallpapers

Happy Engineers Day

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Happy Engineers Day Wallpapers

What is an engineer ?
An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical, societal and commercial problems.

The discipline of engineering is extremely broad, and encompasses a range of more specialized fields of engineering, each with a more specific emphasis on particular areas of applied science, technology and types of application.

The term Engineering is derived from the Latin ingenium, meaning "cleverness" and ingeniare, meaning "to contrive, devise".

The creative application of scientific principles to design or develop structures, machines, apparatus, or manufacturing processes, or works utilizing them singly or in combination; or to construct or operate the same with full cognizance of their design; or to forecast their behavior under specific operating conditions; all as respects an intended function, economics of operation or safety to life and property

Happy Engineers Day

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Funny After Marriage Jokes

After Marriage Jokes After being married for 25 years a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…. I, J, K.” She asks…… “What does that mean?”

He said, “Admirable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous, Honey.
She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely…..
What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
Ha Hah ha ha ha ........!

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