Software Engineer and his wife – very nice

Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.


Wife – would you like to have some snacks?
Husband – hard disk full.


Wife – have you brought the saree.
Husband – Bad command or file name.


Wife – but I told you about it in morning
Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.


Wife – hae bhagwan !forget it where’s your salary.
Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.


Wife – at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband – sharing violation, access denied.


Wife – i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband – data type mismatch.


Wife – you are useless.
Husband – by default.


Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.


Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband – the only user with write permission..


Wife – what is my value in your life?
Husband – unknown virus detected.


Wife – do you love me or your computer?
Husband – Too many parameters.


Wife – i will go to my dad’s house.
Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.


Wife – I will leave you forever.
Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.


Wife – it is worthless talking to you.
Husband – shut down the computer.


Wife – I am going
Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer

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Sleepbox – What next????

Sleepbox – how about sleeping in a box when you are just passing by a large city?

 

Size: 2 m x 1,40m x 2,30m  to sleep in comfort and security.  

Cheap sleep in case of emergency for anyone rich or poor!!

No time wasted looking for a hotel

Designed to be installed at train stations and airports, and central public places or cities where acommodation is fully booked.

In tropical climate countries the sleepebox can be installed outdoors in main streets.

The space includes bed, linnen, ventilation system, alarm. LCD TV, WiFi , space for your laptop and re chargeable phone. Under your bed and floor there is a cupboard for your luggage.

Payment is made at terminals who will give clients an electronic key that can be purchased for 15 minutes or for as many hours as you need.

 

 

 

 

 

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NTPC requires 520 Young Graduate Engineers to join the organization as Executive Trainees

NTPC requires 520 Young Graduate Engineers to join the organization as Executive Trainees in the areas of :Electrical : 145 posts (UR-71, SC-20, ST-6, OBC-48) Mechanical : 175 posts (UR-76, SC-23, ST-15, OBC-61) Civil : 60 posts (UR-17, SC-3, ST-7, ST-6, OBC-30) Control & Instrumentation : 100 posts (UR-46, SC-13, ST-9, OBC-32) Finance : 40 posts (UR-6, SC-8, ST-12, OBC-14) Qualification:  Bachelor's Degree in Engineering or Technology/ AMIE with not less thatn 65% marks.  Final year students may also apply. For Finance : Graduate with CA / ICWA. Final year candidate may also apply. Selection Process : There will be a Selection Test on 17/04/2011.  Short listed candidates will be called for GD and Personal Interview. Upper Age Limit : Upper age limit for NTPC is 27 years as on 01/01/20101 For Finance - 29 years. Scale of Pay : Rs.24900-50500 Application Fee : Deposite Rs. 500/- in ina nay branch of SBI in A/c. no. 30987919993 at for General and OBC canidates (No fee for SC/ST/PH candididates) through pay-in slip available at the website. How to Apply: .  To apply visit http://www.ntpccareers.net/

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ISRO Conducting Annual Recruitment of Scientists/Engineers 'SC' with BE/B.TECH OR Equivalent Degree in Electronics, Mechanical and Computer Science

INDIAN SPACE RESEARCH ORGANISATION

Department of Space, Government of India

ISRO CENTRALISED RECRUITMENT BOARD(ICRB)

Annual Recruitment of Scientists/Engineers 'SC' with BE/B.TECH OR Equivalent Degree in
Electronics, Mechanical and Computer Science

ADVERTISEMENT No. ISRO HQ:ICRB:02:2011 DATED 08-02-2011

Indian Space Research Organisation [ISRO] is a Research and Development organisation engaged in application of Space Science and Technology for the benefit of society at large and for serving the nation by achieving self-reliance and developing capacity to design and build Launch Vehicles and Communication/Remote Sensing Satellites and thereafter launch them. ISRO strives to serve the nation in the areas of television broadcast, telecommunication, meteorological application and in management of our natural resources

The continuing expansion of space applications programmes like Village Resources Centres, telemedicine, tele-education, disaster management support and outreach through Direct-To-Home television, reiterates the increasing role played by the Indian space systems in providing direct benefits to the society. Thus, Indian space programme continues to pursue successful goals on all fronts in meeting the objective of achieving self-reliance in space technology and its applications for national development.

The future ISRO programme envisages development of cutting edge technologies for reusable launch vehicle, development of advanced technologies for Human Spaceflight Programme, advanced high efficiency semi-cryogenic propulsion system, advanced communication satellite, air breathing propulsion, satellite based navigation system, hyper spectral imaging sensors, and inter planetary missions.

Challenging opportunities exist at ISRO to undertake development of innovative technologies and establish the advanced infrastructure needed for space exploration and beyond.

ISRO offers the position of Scientist/Engineer `SC' in the pay band of Rs. 15600-39100 with grade pay of Rs. 5400/- to the young graduates in the following specialized fields:-

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Do not use 'Back' and 'Forward' button of your browser while filling up online application form.

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To get the online application form, please click on the Post Name below for which you want to apply for.

Post No.	Post Name
BE001	Scientist/Engineer SC - Electronics
BE002	Scientist/Engineer SC - Mechanical
BE003	Scientist/Engineer SC - Computer Science

Eligibility:

• BE/B.Tech or equivalent in First Class with an aggregate minimum of 65% (average of all semesters for which results are available). Candidates who are slated to complete the BE/B.Tech course in the academic year 2010-11 are also eligible to apply provided final Degree is available by 31.8.2011

Age Limit:

• 35 years as on 28-02-2011 (40 years in case of SC/ST candidates and 38 years for OBC candidates, Ex-serviceman and Persons with Disabilities[PWD] are eligible for age relaxation as per Govt. of India orders).

For PWD persons, orders on reservation to the extent applicable will be extended for the above posts.
How to apply :

• The application for on-line registration will be hosted in the ISRO web-site between 08-02-2011 and 28-02-2011. Candidates may visit our web-site at www.isro.gov.in to register their applications on-line between 08-02-2011 and 28-02-2011. Applications will be received on-line only. Upon registration, applicants will be provided with an on-line Registration Number, which should be carefully preserved for future reference. E-mail ID of the applicant will have to be given in the application compulsorily.
• The on-line application has to be invariably followed-up with a `No Objection Certificate' from the employer concerned, by those already in employment under Central/State Government, Public Sector Undertakings or Autonomous Bodies, duly indicating the name and Reg. No. on the reverse.
• Application Fee : There will be an Application Fee of Rs.100/- (Rupees One Hundred Only) for each application. Demand Draft details need to be filled-in at the time of on-line registration. The candidate before filing his application has to take a DD for Rs.100/- (non-refundable) from any of the Nationalized Bank in favour of the Sr. Accounts Officer, ISRO HQ, Bangalore, payable at Bangalore.
• The Applicant should enter the DD Number, date and name of the Bank in the space provided for the same in the web application. After filing the application, on-line, the applicant has to send the DD with his/her Full Name (as entered in web), Post Number and Registration No. written on the reverse of the DD to Sr. Administrative Officer (ICRB), ISRO Headquarters, Antariksh Bhavan, New BEL Road, Bangalore - 560231 by post superscribing on the envelope "ISRO RECRUITMENT-SCI/ENGR-SC(BE/B.TECH)".
• Please note that applications, in respect of which DDs have not been received with Name as mentioned in the application and Registration Number on the reverse, will not be considered.
• Women candidates, Scheduled Castes (SC), Scheduled Tribes (ST) and Persons with Disabilities (PWD) candidates are exempted from payment of Application Fee subject to production of proof through any one of the following certificates as indicated for each category as below. The certificate may be sent to Sr.Administrative Officer (ICRB) , ISRO HQ, Antariksh Bhavan, New BEL Road, Bangalore -560 231 duly indicating the Name, Post No. and Reg.No. on the reverse.

Women Candidate - Attested copy of PAN Card/Voter's ID Card/College ID Card/Passport/Driving License/ Ration Card OR Gender status indicated in certificate issued by the Principal of the College where last studied

SC/ST candidates - Attested copy of Caste Certificate

Persons with disabilities(PWD) - Attested copy of Medical Certificate indicating extent of disability issued by Medical Board


• Applications of candidates claiming Women/SC/ST/PWD status and therefore exemption from payment of Application Fee will be considered only if the certificate, as above, is received within 7 days of filing of application on-line and in any case not later than 07.03.2011. The Demand Draft and `No Objection Certificate' in respect of candidates employed under Central/State Govt/PSU/Autonomous Body should reach ISRO Headquarters, Bangalore within seven days of filing the applications on-line by the candidates and in any case not later than 07.03.2011.

Selection Process:

The candidate should have First Class with minimum 65% marks in the Qualifying Degree ie, BE/B.Tech or equivalent. Please note that this qualification prescribed is the MINIMUM requirement and the same does not automatically make candidates eligible for written test. Based on the academic performance and bio-data, initial screening will be conducted to short-list candidates for taking-up written test. The written test will be conducted on 16th April 2011 [Saturday] at thirteen venues viz., Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Bhopal, Chandigarh, Chennai, Cuttack, Guwahati, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Lucknow, Mumbai, New Delhi and Thiruvananthapuram. However, the Organisation reserves the right to cancel/change the written test venue and re-allot the candidates to any other test centre. The call letters for the written test to the short-listed candidates will be sent only by e-mail during the last week of March 2011. Based on the performance of the candidates in the Written Test, candidates will be short-listed for interview, the schedule and venue of which will be notified. Candidates attending the interview will be reimbursed to and fro second-class train fare by the shortest route from the address given in the application to the place of interview.

Pay and Allowances:

Selected candidates will be appointed as Scientist/ Engineer 'SC' in the pay band of Rs. 15600-39100 + 5400 (Grade Pay). The gross emoluments in the minimum of scale will at present be approximately Rs.30,450/- p.m. In addition, House Rent Allowance [HRA] and Transport Allowance at the prescribed rates in force at the place of posting will be paid for those who are not availing Departmental Housing and Transport facility, respectively. The employees will be governed by the New Pension Scheme. On employment in ISRO, other facilities are available such as medical facilities for self and dependants, subsidized canteen, transport allowance when official transport is not availed, limited housing facility for fresh entrants in lieu of HRA, Leave Travel Concession, Group Insurance , advances for purchase of conveyance, construction of house, etc as per Central Government orders.

Other Conditions/Instructions:

• The posts are temporary, but likely to continue.
• The appointees are liable to be posted in any of the Centres/Units of the Indian Space Research Organisation/Department of Space situated anywhere in India as and when required. For details of ISRO Centres/Units, please visit http://www.isro.gov.in/isrocentres/isrocenters.aspx
• Candidates called for interview will have to produce all relevant original documents in proof of details furnished in their applications submitted on-line, at the time of interview. If any information furnished on-line is found to be wrong or false, the candidate will not be interviewed and TA will not be paid.
• No TA will be paid for attending the Written Test.
• ISRO reserves the right not to fill up all or any of the posts, if it so desires.
• Only Indian Nationals need apply.
• No interim correspondence will be entertained. In case of any clarification candidates may send their mail to icrb@isro.gov.in
• Government strives to have a workforce which reflects gender balance and women candidates are encouraged to apply

VISIT OUR WEB-SITE http://www.isro.gov.in FOR LATEST UPDATES ON
THE STATUS OF YOUR APPLICATION.

JOIN ISRO AND SHAPE-UP YOUR CAREER

SHARE YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH TALENTED SCIENTIST COMMUNITY

SUPPORT NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT

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SAP Labs calling 2011 passouts for scholar@sap program.

What is Scholar@SAP ?
Scholar@SAP is the vocational training program conducted by SAP Labs India. This initiative aims to create a skilled pool of college graduates, who will be groomed and trained to suit SAP Labs India’s talent requirements. It is an accelerated orientation program which prepares individuals for SAP work environment even before they are taken on board. 

In this education-cum-work program, students will work Monday-Friday on live assignments at SAP, while the academic classes will be conducted on Saturdays by BITS Pilani faculty at the SAP Campus.

Eligibility:
. B.E/Btech in CSE,ECE,EEE and IT ,2011 freshers (Final year students)
. 70% in B.E/Btech and 60% in 10th and 12th
How to apply:
Send your resume to scholar@sap.com before 31st march 2011.

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Honeywell Recruiting freshers & Experience: 0-2 Yrs Education: B.E./B.Tech

Description

 Detailed understanding of software verification process
Understanding of software requirements
Good knowledge on Test cases development/debugging, Code coverage analysis, traceability, Thorough understanding of the Avionics Displays system.
Good knowledge in C embedded Programming fundamentals, RTOS concepts. <BR>Deriving test cases and test procedures from the low level requirements.
Software testing methodologies - Test scripts generation (Adhering to DO-178B), Codetest tool, Coverage analysis;
Should have sound knowledge on Debugging on the target hardware/simulator.
Good Knowledge on Configuration Management (Clear case/PVCS/VSS)
Requirement Management concepts.
Must possess good communication skills

 

Qualifications

 Experience: 0-2 Yrs Education: B.E./B.Tech 

Job : Engineering

Primary Location : IND-01-Hyderabad

Shift : Day Job

Travel : No

Relocation Available : No

 

Apply for This Position

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Display Label Error Message in JavaScript

This is Script for error display


<script type="text/javascript" language=javascript>
        function valid()
         {
             var Name = document.getElementById('name');
          
            if (Name.value == '' || Name.value == "null") {
                document.getElementById('lblName').innerHTML = "Enter Your Name";
            } else {
                var re = /^[a-zA-Z]+$/;

                if (!Name.value.match(re)) {
                    document.getElementById('lblName').innerHTML = "Enter Valid Name";
                }
                else {
                    document.getElementById('lblName').innerHTML = "";
                }            
            }
}
</script>



HTML


 <tr style="padding-top:15px">
                                                                            <td style="color: #595627;font-size:12;font-family:verdana; font-weight:normal;">Name
                                                                            </td>
                                                                            <td><input type="text" value="" name="username" id="name" style="width:230px"/></td>
                                                                        </tr>
                                                                        <tr>
                                                                            <td colspan="2"><label id="lblName" style="padding-left:80px; color:red;font-size:12;font-family:verdana; font-weight:normal;"  ></label>&nbsp;</td>
                                                                        </tr>

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IT JOB FAIR @ Bangalore on 27th February

“AMA Business” is organizing an IT Job fair in Bangalore on 26th and
27th of February 2011 at palace ground
Below are the feature of job fair
                     * 100 Software companies
                     * 2000 + Jobs
                     * One place multiple option to select job
                     * No marks barrier
                     * Specially for fresher
                     * Interview on various technology
                     * One written test valid for 100 companies
                     * One interview valid for 100 companies
                     * Experienced are also welcome
Below are technology in Job fair
                    *  C, C++, Unix
                    *  .Net, C#, ASP.Net,Windows, Mobile
application
                    *  Java, JSP, EJB, RMI, Web logic
                    *  Testing Manual & Automation
                    *  Mainframe
                    *  BizTalk, SharePoint, Dynamics Family
                    *  SQL Server, SSIS, SSRS
                    *  OracleApps Financial Technical &
Functional
                    *  Network Admin, Unix Admin, Windows Admin

To join, and for more info submit  your resume  to resume.ama@gmail.com “
91-80-42185672, www.amabusiness.com

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Capgemini open campus recruitment for 2009 and 2010 pass out students in Hyderabad

Capgemini open campus recruitment for 2009 and 2010 pass out students in Hyderabad on 24th February to 25th February 2011.

Date and Venue : VNR Vignana Jyothi Institute of Engineering and Technology - Bachupally,Via :Kukatpally.
24th February - Aptitude Test & GD fresherscafe.com

25th February - GD & Personal Interview
Eligibility Criteria

. Degree: B.E / B. Tech / MCA / M.Tech

. Branches : CSE, ECE, EEE, IT, Mechnical

. Year of Passing :2010, 2009 fresherscafe.com

. 10th Standard: 60% fresherscafe.com

. 12th Standard : 60%

.Graduation :60% fresherscafe.com

. Post Graduation: 60% fresherscafe.com

. No Back paper after the Final Year Exam

. Candidates already having employment are eligible to apply.

Salary offered: Rs. 2.5 Lac CTC per annum
Recruitment Process :
. Aptitude Test

. Group Discussion

. Personal Interview

For circular click here

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[Freshers] Mahindra Satyam walk-in on Feb 26, 2011 for 2009 - 2010 graduate - Hyd

OFFCAMPUS 2009 & 2010

Walk in drive in Hyderabad on Saturday, 26^th Feb !!

Dear All,

We are initiating Off Campus recruitment of B.Sc. (CS, IT, Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, Statistics, Electronic, Electrical) / BCA / BCS/ B.Com/ B.A Literature graduates of 2009 and 2010.

We look forward to your support in recommending suitable candidates as per details given here under:

Eligibility Criterion

Candidates should have graduated in the year 2009 and 2010 with a consistent academic performance of Minimum 60 % & above at X, XII & Graduation

Only 1 year gap is allowed in between courses.

Graduation should be completed within the stipulated time allocated by respective University. Any gap during the course will not be considered.

Courses

1.     BSC

       Computer Science

       Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics

       Statistics

       Information Technology

       Electronics

       Electrical

2.     BCA

3.     BCS

4.    B.Com

5.    B.A Literature

Please note that we will not be considering any other discipline or pass outs from any other batch apart from the ones mentioned above.

Walk in Details-

Venue:                                                                                              Date: 26^th February, 2011

Mahindra Satyam                                                                         Time: 10 am

Satyam School of Leadership,
Special Economic Zone - Developer
Plot Nos. 23 to 34
Hitec City, Madhapur,

Hyderabad

Mandatory Documents required to be carried by candidate for test / interview

A.     Hard copy of Resume

B.     Originals & Photocopies of Mark sheets and Certificates of 10^thand 12^th Std.

C.    Photocopies of Mark Sheets (all semesters) and Degree certificate(s) of Graduation applicable

D.    Photocopy of Passport  or  acknowledgement copy of  Passport application

E.     3 Photographs

Ø  Please note

·         No queries with members of the Recruitment team regarding any of the referred case(s) during the selection process will be entertained.
·         There will be no reward against this referral

Regards

Corporate Recruitment Team

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